Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
