Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
birth control should be required to get into college
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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