Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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