all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize