it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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