It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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