don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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