Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
