No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
