Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
