I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
