I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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