You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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