The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
