So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
