I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
