I only kidnapped one of them. chill
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize