I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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