Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize