12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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