then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
