on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
