FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she smelled like a LAN party
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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