if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
