We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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