My first STD was from a foam party
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
