I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
