My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
