Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
send nudes
from the living room?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
