Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
