i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize