Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
