I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i think i just lost a toe
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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