i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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