I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
