Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize