You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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