I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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