I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
