i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize