he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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