she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
