Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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