hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize