Whod you bang
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
