I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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