At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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