Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
