i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
