I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
