Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
