How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
