problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I will be naked everywhere
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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