Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I cannot find my penis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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