I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
