She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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