There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
