never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
