Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
