my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
