I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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