...so i touched it.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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