if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
