I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize