my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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