I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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