New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize